Truth is

I'm not looking forward to the holiday season this year

"He used you

for sex and money."

I'm gonna be a little bitch and whine now. I wish I was working during my week off so I don't have so much free time to be angry. I want my $300+ back, thank you very much ASI. My temper is getting worse again, gotta start working out again during dead/finals week.

RAGC90

Sometimes, I wish I had a real father and got to grow up with a father that didn't abuse my mom or rip our lives apart.

Then I think about it, look at the life we have now, our struggle, and I wouldn't have it any other way. When June 2012 (or so) comes around, I know that these past few years will be worth it.

Remember when I cried at Karen's cotillion about all this? HAHAHA

I totally just felt sad and hurt for about 2 minutes and got over it, I don't give a fuck. It's not worth the pain anymore.

For some reason, I don't feel comfortable posting any of these things on tumblr. I know it's open to the public the same way but I don't know..

"Welcome to the real world", she said to me

John Mayer - No Such Thing

I love this song.

I'm 19 years old. I wouldn't say that my life is that hard. My life is different from other peoples. But I'm not that self-centered to say that no one will ever understand the life that I've lived. I mean, if someone wanted to they would try that hard and I believe that they could almost come close. I would never tell someone to talk in my shoes or shut the fuck up because would you really want someone to feel the pain that you've endured? Cmon guys, have a heart.

There's one thing though, I still haven't learned how to tackle my insecurities. Maybe that's why I'm so OCD, worried, stressed, and afraid all the time. I'm insecure about everything, I need to learn how to work on that. It took me years to be able to look at people in the eye, Thanks Shawn Metra. It also took me like four years to even gain some self-confidence/esteem and it's still a work in the progress to this day. Thanks Ralph, thanks for never going anywhere. (I wonder if you still have the poster..)

Tumblr/txnguyen

Now I'm where I wanna be, come co-pilot with me

The Dream - Walkin' On the Moon

I like this song. Then again I like all the songs I post about..

Two days into the week and I can already feel that it's going to be a good week. Yesterday, I decided to skip Managerial and sleep in. Before I went back to sleep, I texted one of my group mates to ask if we got our midterms back. I've been so anxious since last Wednesday to find out my grade since I stayed up til 5am to study so it was AWESOMEEEEE when I found out that I got a 90% on it. :) Especially since I got a D on the first midterm. Today, I was late for my IS class so I didn't go and to just go over the stuff we went in class from my apt. Checked my grade and found out that I got an 83% on my midterm. Not bad considering I didn't really study but I was bummed since I got a 95% on the first. Whatever, doing pretty well this quarter and I've never been happier about it.

Not the mention, today is OUR three. It's not really big deal but whatever, I've technically never "officially" been in a relationship for a full month. Hah, it's weird and complicated but whatever things are good and we're happy and that's all that matters. And I know that I just used "and" too many times in the sentence but I don't care. Hiii person-with-the-same-initials-as-Cal-Poly! I know you like it when I directly address you in my posts. I hope you like your surprise and the shoes :)

This weekend is Big/Little revealing then Thanks-for-giving Banquet and I'm soooo EXCITED! I think I feel this way because it was this time last year that I joined TVSA. I hecka joined last minute and everything and still got an awesomeeee big who I'm pretty close with now. :) Looking back, I've gone such a long way the past year and met such good people through this club. I'll save that little speech for later but I'm still excited! I feel bad that both of Asis' littles are bailing on him but it's okay, my family will adopt him!

HI ASIS! KICK SOME LINEAR ASS!

8 DAYS TIL THANKSGIVING BREAK :D

I feel

exhausted

stressed

pressured

tired

busy

anxiety

pain

irritated

sad

guilty

stupid

lazy

useless

broken

overwhelmed

yet at the same time

accomplished of today's hike since it forced to take deep breaths and I haven't been able to the past few weeks.

Worst feeling ever

What do I keep doing wrong? I'm so tired of messing my only sure thing up.

Maybe it is time for me to change the way I've lived my life if I want anything to work out.

Sent via BlackBerry

Strike up the band and make the fireflies dance

Those who went to high school with me or has ever been in my integra most likely knew that this is one of my favorite songs ever. Then again, it was my ring tone 75% of the time throughout high school. I don't know how I've forgotten about it these past few months but Angelina's friendly reminder made me smile. :) This song always makes me happy, right next to BS - Sometimes. I still remember when Ralph and I sat around forevererererererer trying to decide which should be my Homecoming song. Too bad we couldn't hear it when I was walking down the carpet. :( Oh well. I wish I didn't have to say that this song was playing in the background when adhfgkadfg and I first kissed. Whatever, I love this song.

PostSecret makes me happy also.

So do you.