Now you'll never see what you've done to me

The All-American Rejects - Gives You Hell

Okay. "Real talk". I've never been through this much all at once in my life. But the thing is that, I've been doing a pretty decent job at hiding it as much as I can. For once, the unknown is scaring the living hell out of me. I've totally reached my all time low. I don't even know how to answer anyone's questions anymore.


You wanna know what I just realized? At this same time, exactly one year ago.. I cried my eyes out every single day. Wake up, cry, go to school, cry, come home, cry til I fall asleep, wake up cry til I asleep again, wake up do it all over again. It was also the best time of my life because that's when I found "my real friends". I don't like that I found them when I was at such a low point in my life. It sounds pathetic. Let's scratch that.. I found the funnest people to graduate with. The people that I will look back 10 years from now and giggle the way I did sitting with them that week of graduation practice. I'm not sure what I'm saying or what I'm trying to get at. One year later, I am broken into pieces and it's not about HIM. That should should be an accomplishment, yeah? Shit, what the hell. We all know I take every chance I get to NOT be broken over a boy. It's okay, we all make mistakes.

Is it sad that if I had the choice, I'd relive that week from last year to just make these weeks ago away? Yeah, it's that bad. But I keep acting like it's that bad. Maybe I'm numb. Maybe last year is the reason I don't know how to be this broken this time around.

I bet you're thinking that I'm talking about a boy though, huh? Just keep asking yourself how well you know me.

The thing is though.. I'm not that bitter?

I'm such a fucking babbler. I got off on weird ass tangents. Why do people let me blog? Geeez.

On sleepless roads the sleepless goes

Jimmy Eat World - Hear You Me

Laying in bed on my phone with my ipod trying to sleep early for once. There's this itch that has been bothering me so much lately.

Who do you think you are to judge my lifestyle and my struggles? So I have horrible spending tendencies, "waste money" and at the same time my family is going through a ridiculous financial/housing struggle. I don't need you to compare me to your ways. You have far from any right to have any opinion to my life.

You don't know or understand what I've been through, how I feel, or what I've seen to get where I am today. I could careless about your background because regardless of how much you try to put it on me, you haven't literally been in my shoes. Even if you have been through worse, it still gives you absolutely NO RIGHT to anything towards me.

My apologizes BlogSpot for yet another bitter post, you don't deserve it.

You give me feelings that I adore

Colbie Caillat - Bubbly

It's been 11 months. Almost a year and I'm still not okay. I've tried to be okay, I've been okay but I'm never OKAY. This time a year ago was the hardest and happiest month. It's unfortunate it ended so miserably. I'd say bitter sweet but it was more bitter. Then again, I get to say that at one point in time, I was happy.

Does this song remind you of me?
No.

I wish it didn't now. I'm such an idiot and I'll never forgive myself for that.

Little darling the smiles returning to the faces

The Beatles - Here Comes the Sun

I'm ashamed of myself for being so behind lately. Good thing I've added some random ones here and there from the mobile. There are 5 weeks left in this quarter and I'll be done with my first year of college. Boy does time fly. Spring quarter has done me extremely well! That makes me more than happy. TVSA has kept me on my toes and brought me close to a great group of people. Speaking of.. I would like to introduce you to the Thai-Vietnamese Student Association's 2009/2010 Board (+plus Christine :P)


Goodness, I love fighting and bickering with this people. We act like siblings, get drunk together, and everything in between. It's our differences that bring us closer together :) General meeting today, fuck. I need to do some type of website mock to show them, uh oh!

OH YEAH! I'm alive, wooooo!