On sleepless roads the sleepless goes

Jimmy Eat World - Hear You Me

Laying in bed on my phone with my ipod trying to sleep early for once. There's this itch that has been bothering me so much lately.

Who do you think you are to judge my lifestyle and my struggles? So I have horrible spending tendencies, "waste money" and at the same time my family is going through a ridiculous financial/housing struggle. I don't need you to compare me to your ways. You have far from any right to have any opinion to my life.

You don't know or understand what I've been through, how I feel, or what I've seen to get where I am today. I could careless about your background because regardless of how much you try to put it on me, you haven't literally been in my shoes. Even if you have been through worse, it still gives you absolutely NO RIGHT to anything towards me.

My apologizes BlogSpot for yet another bitter post, you don't deserve it.

You give me feelings that I adore

Colbie Caillat - Bubbly

It's been 11 months. Almost a year and I'm still not okay. I've tried to be okay, I've been okay but I'm never OKAY. This time a year ago was the hardest and happiest month. It's unfortunate it ended so miserably. I'd say bitter sweet but it was more bitter. Then again, I get to say that at one point in time, I was happy.

Does this song remind you of me?
No.

I wish it didn't now. I'm such an idiot and I'll never forgive myself for that.

Little darling the smiles returning to the faces

The Beatles - Here Comes the Sun

I'm ashamed of myself for being so behind lately. Good thing I've added some random ones here and there from the mobile. There are 5 weeks left in this quarter and I'll be done with my first year of college. Boy does time fly. Spring quarter has done me extremely well! That makes me more than happy. TVSA has kept me on my toes and brought me close to a great group of people. Speaking of.. I would like to introduce you to the Thai-Vietnamese Student Association's 2009/2010 Board (+plus Christine :P)


Goodness, I love fighting and bickering with this people. We act like siblings, get drunk together, and everything in between. It's our differences that bring us closer together :) General meeting today, fuck. I need to do some type of website mock to show them, uh oh!

OH YEAH! I'm alive, wooooo!

I've never been this happy this year :)

I'm in love with this place and where I'm going with things.

Polycultural Weekend has been amazing :) At this moment I'm on the midnight Amtrak bus to go back to SJ for the Britney concert. Life is amazing. I'm saying this whole hearted :)

I toss and turn, I keep stressing my mind

Kid Cudi - Day 'N Nite

It's April. A new month. A new quarter. And as some may put it, a new start. The last notable time I had a new entry was the beginning of last quarter when I informed everyone about my status of Academic Probation. I am proud to say that I raised a 1.2 GPA to 2.1 cumulative and no longer on Academic Probation :) I SURVIVED THE HARDEST QUARTER I'VE HAD YET! I'm happy happy about it. It was a crazy roller coaster and things are only going to get worse.

When I think about it, last quarter was ridiculous because I made it ridiculous. There are many things I could have done to prevent it but I didn't. Everything is a learning experience though, right? RIGHT. So for this new quarter, I'm proud to say that I think I'm going to be okay. I'm going to MAKE it okay. No more tossin' and turnin' at night for me. Honestly though, I went to bed every night worried and freaking out. For one of the seven papers I wrote last quarter, I wrote about how sleep works and was told that in order to get a good night's sleep, one should go to bed with little worries and a clear mind. All the stress made me toss and turn at night. The constant worries for the 7am classes and the papers I had to write. It was a terrifying but learning experience.

I've told myself and others this many times but I've never been able to listen to myself. I'm a firm believer that a good portion of the time, people live the life they want. Does that remind anyone of The Wedding Date? "Everyone has the love life they want." Why my explanation, though? Because through the toughest times and whatnot, it's our own choice of how to cope with it. Whether it be avoiding the situation or facing it head on. In the end, it's MY decision. So why did I choose such horrible ways to deal with it? You live and you learn..

I hate sounding so preacher-ish. Sometimes I'm pretty sure I'm saying these things because it's my way of telling myself things in my head. And maybe saying it "outloud" on here helps? Anyhow, it's a new quarter and I'm going to relax and chill these time around. Get my shit done but do it in a more subtle manner so I don't kill myself. Take it easy because stressing only deprives of more sleep :(

My fingers are crossed and I have high hopes. It should count for something, yeah?