And as we lay beneath the stars, we realize how small we are

If Everyone Cared - Nickelback

I never know where to start. I told myself I would never ever ever ever ever EVER again let this thought ever fall into my little head. I SWORE TO MYSELF. If I did so then why in the world am I even thinking about the possibly of transferring to SJSU? NO SJSU, NO FUCKING SJSU. I've told myself this since day one that I wouldn't go there. Not that I have anything against or anything considering it is a great school for business and a teachings credential but I don't want to do it that way. Possibly just how I am because I love where I'm at right now and I don't want to hold regrets of going there because I had to handle family responsibilities that the could have easily done themselves. Call me selfish, bitchy, self-centered for doing this but I refuse to have it all on my plate when they are capable of doing it themselves. I have never met such guys who are supposed to be grown ass MEN with so little responsibility. Like seriously, are you kidding me? The reason I am here at Cal Poly, in college is so that thing would get better in the long run and take care of my mom. But how the hell am I going to ever have the sanity to do such a thing if these guys are going to eventually stress/overwhelm her health away? SERIOUSLY GUYS, SERIOUSLY? I'm 190 miles away and still have to do your responsibilities for you all. This is ridiculous, it really is. Yeah, let's have the baby do the babysitting for everyone around here.

Ugh, angry posts are definitely not my favorite and I usually try my best to refrain from them because I know I'm just babbling anger. But this time around, I'm pretty sure I've felt this way for some time now.

what. the. fuck.

ALEXANDER ASIS

HI :) I did it, I gave in..

I want to blog here. I don't know why but I do. Being in college, I'm pretty sure a good amount of people would have to admit that we live double lives trying to balance our home life and college life. Xanga most definitely feels like my home life and BlogSpot will be my college life. I've been wanting to blog for so long and I feel like Xanga has this hold over me that I will never be able to let go of. Don't get me wrong, I'm on it every day and want to blog so much and I can't. I wish I knew why but I've sworn that I will never abandon it even though I have here and there over the past few years.

I think this might be the start of something good..