January

So, I didn't really have a real sincere post at all this month and that disappoints me because I have so much free time now. Also since I've had so much on my mind and much more on my mind. I'm more disappointed in myself for almost being as discontent with this quarter/month as I was last year. I told myself I was gonna work on it and not let it turn out like last month. Now, there's about 29 minutes left and I'm only hoping for a better month.

Then again, hoping can only do so much. I need to do something about it. Maybe I should be more on top of school and life to make it up to myself. Honestly, I just miss my friends a lot right now. I miss Clarenz. I miss Ralph. I miss my Greaterest. I miss #JD. I miss #JG. I miss Angelina. Sometimes, I even miss when being close with Donna. I miss Asis and sometimes T3. I miss the little bit of confidence I had last quarter. There are so many things I miss right now, I can't even list them all. Most of all, I miss loving SLO.

Really, I miss my friends a lot. Maybe that's why I always miss high school. All of our little outings and adventures whether we had cars or not. What the hell is wrong with me? I'm beginning to think I did this for myself. The summers with #JD. By the way, I still have the cookie hero thing. I miss tearing shit up with the boys. I remember that one night us plus Aladin went hot tubbing at Catalina Apts and just went to Jack in the Box after doing random shit.

Thanks for still sticking by me Clarenz, especially these last few weeks. ♥

My heart hurts.

February, we're gonna have a good time. Good night.

I want

understanding and honesty.

This is my 8th day in a row crying for one reason or another.

:(

I hate you money. I thought about it and most of the money I spent this quarter has been towards food for the next month. It's all been necessities like books, fees, gas money to drive back and forth from home, Clarenz, food, school stuff. Also paid back old debts I have to other people. Oh and two pairs jeans from Abercrombie and a few long sleeves but that was only $100. And paid a $300 phone bill. I'm broke. Now I'm running out of eye liner and want rain boots and new sneakers but can't afford to buy it and still have money for bills. :( Going home = eating out and spending money but at least I get to see Clarenz, #JD, Mom, Tuan, and Landon. I've submitted so many applications, someone give me a job please :(

At this point

I just really miss him and I want the fighting and awkwardness to go away already..

and I miss my mom and Tuan.

I wish I was selfish enough to ask for a visit.