I despise myself for feeling this way. Regardless how upset I am or fed up I get, I've ALWAYS been the positive one lately. As much as I'm trying to reassure myself, I think I'm the only one trying so hard right now.

It's like I'm in this alone now.

This is how I feel at this moment: hurt, lost, my throat is sore as ever, the struggle to keep my eyes open, hopeful, my eyes swelling up, headache.

Tammy, everything's going to be okay. You're going to get through this as always.

I'm beginning to wonder if typing out what I have to say will make me feel better. When everything feels like it's going to fall apart, I have to hold myself together. If I don't, I'm going to resent myself for it. It's not a matter of pride or proving something to someone. The fact that I'm making the effort to hold myself together and not refuse to fall completely is a start. Nothing is going to break me, I won't let it. I will never let that happen to me again.

So either my contacts are that far out of prescription or my eyes are just too swallow now days for me to see.

Sometimes, it frustrates me so much when it shouldn't. Like when I try sooooo hard to make it okay. I do things that I shouldn't do just to make it okay but I'm not sure if it's enough.

Tammy, everything's gonna be okay. Remember to take a few breathers here and there.

Now I know why I can't concentrate on studying.

All the little crap is filling up on this space in my head aiodfbgajkdfgiadgknadfgkd